


fragile hearts

by neroh



Series: a moth to flame [3]
Category: Bourne (Movies), Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, M/M, Mentions of suicide attempt, Porn With Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 18:12:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9337013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neroh/pseuds/neroh
Summary: This is how Kirill falls in love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Matt for the beta and for everyone putting up with my re-write of this series.

Having feelings for Jack Ryan isn’t something Kirill planned on.

Strange for someone whose profession is to see all possible scenarios. He makes it his business to plan for them and ensures that everything goes accordingly. Emotions are something Kirill has learned to mask over the years, so much so that he tries to remember them late at night.

Jack’s extraction is successful, even with the other man’s injuries. Kirill accounts for them; his charge sustained a nasty concussion and rough treatment from his would-be captors. He has medical supplies waiting in the first safe house and treats them accordingly. He tries to make their stay inside of the dank apartment as comfortable as possible for Jack. Kirill forces himself to answer all of the questions the other man asks, no matter how uneasy it makes him.

He keeps the lights off, knowing all too well what effects it will have on the other man’s headaches, brings him food and water, and rushes into the room when he hears Jack whimpering in his sleep, staying until he goes quiet.

Playing nursemaid isn’t on Kirill’s agenda, but he does it anyway.

The fever Jack develops is unsurprising—now that he’s out of adrenaline, the shock of his wife’s deception has caused his body to go into overdrive. Kirill contacts Pamela and together, they find a window to move Jack to a more permanent and secure location outside of France. With the same team of agents who helped him foil the kidnapping and murder attempt, Kirill embarks on a secretive flight to Minsk.

Once they’re safely inside of the safe house, the sole doctor on the team clucks around Jack’s bedside as she checks over IV lines and the medications dripping into them. She leaves without a word and Kirill resumes his vigil over Jack.

Five days of listening to Jack’s fever induced rambling, none of which he’ll remember, Kirill tends to him because that’s what he was hired to do.

He keeps his emotions tucked deep inside, even when he and Jack are properly introduced for the first time and it’s met with disdain from the latter.

Kirill suffers through it because he has a job to do.

He checks in on him when Jack’s sleeping and doesn’t attempt to engage him in conversation. Kirill allows the other man to grieve in private; he’s never been good with crying.

This goes on for weeks and for a time, Kirill thinks he might have to swallow his pride and try to be someone he’s not.

It’s Jack’s suicide attempt that finally rattles him.

For a man that values knowing all possibilities, finding Jack on the floor of the bathroom surrounded by sleeping pills is definitely not what he had in mind. Kirill lets his guard down and curses his charge’s poor decision making while saving his life. They bicker until Jack is throwing up into the toilet, sobbing like his heart is breaking.

Later—once the medical team has assured him that Jack will live—Kirill realizes that it has been all along. Even though he’s seething with rage, Kirill feels a pang of sympathy for the younger man and once he’s threatened Jack into promising never to pull a stunt like that again, he begins to try.

 

* * *

 

Kirill quickly realizes that Jack is different from the others.

He can’t pinpoint what it is exactly, but something about being in Jack’s company is something Kirill begins to look forward to. Their interactions become natural, less stifled by the awkwardness that guided them before. Kirill learns that Jack is witty, hardworking, and terrible at chess. He knows random factoids, some of which surprise Kirill when they’re uttered aloud.

Their days begin to revolve around each other, whether it be them sparring in the gym or just working out, cooking meals, or watching mindless television—Jack becomes a constant. They allow their guards to come down; Jack with his anger and, at times, tears while Kirill reveals parts of himself he’s kept hidden.

He begins to actually care about Jack’s well-being and not because he’s being paid to. Every moment Kirill’s around him, he’s privy to the other man’s moods and body language. With one glance over the breakfast table, he can gauge whether Jack wants to be social or bask in the quiet of the living room.

Jack becomes a secret language Kirill begins to learn and at night when they’ve retired to their own rooms, he begins to ache for his company.

 

* * *

 

Jack starts to observe Kirill whenever he enters a room like he’s attempting to understand him on a deeper level.

Analyzing is a word that comes to mind and if the fire behind his eyes is any indication, lust is another.

It doesn’t take long for Kirill to figure out that the slow burn of his attraction is reciprocated. Surprising since the dossier never mentioned Jack’s sexual history beyond his wife. He wonders about the other men who may have touched him before and the other women, too.

Why hadn’t Jack kept them around? What made him attracted to them? What makes Jack attracted to him?

Kirill finds out one morning when he happens to come upon Jack in his bathroom, shirtless as he brushes his teeth. It’s the first time they end up falling into bed together and the first time Kirill sees the scar he’s only heard stories about.

A serpentine line composed of jagged, pink skin that runs down the entire length of Jack’s spine. The visible mark of Jack’s helicopter accident and its aftermath.

It’s clear from passing comments that Jack dislikes it and is apprehensive to bear it to others. To Kirill, it only makes him more beautiful.

He touches the puckered skin, unlocking the other man’s secrets as his fingers dance over it. When he’s finished, Kirill presses his lips to the beginning of its trail.

The rest happens like an explosion; quick frottage and hand jobs to get them the rest of the way there. When it’s over, Kirill asks Jack the most important question and they spend the rest of the day in bed.

He buries his cock into the tight heat of Jack’s hole, forgetting how dangerous this can turn out to be.

Entanglements can be deadly, especially one such as this.

It doesn’t matter because Kirill has Jack’s hips in his hands, watching as Jack impales himself over and over again on his cock. They’re soaked with sweat as their pleasure intensifies—especially Jack’s as it seems he has an incredibly sensitive prostate. Kirill angles his thrusts to seek out the gland and abuses it until Jack is leaning over his chest, his mouth open in silent exclamation.

“Kirill,” he finally manages, breathlessly, poetically, beautifully. Jack’s voice crackles with need—the need to be pushed towards climax, to be protected.

Kirill gazes up at him and falls into the darkest blues of his eyes, nearly drowning in them as Jack catches his mouth in a wet, sloppy kiss. The taste of their commingling sweat spreads onto his tongue, causing Kirill to groan because,  _chert poberi_ , if it isn’t the hottest thing he’s witnessed. He swallows the muffled wail of Jack’s orgasm and fucks him through the rest until Jack is trembling against him and there’s cum on Kirill’s stomach.

He finds his own release; the hot slide of his spill deep inside of Jack, slickening Kirill’s final thrusts until he joins the other man in a post-coital delirium.

The rest of their relationship begins more slowly and when it’s time for them to return to the United States, they find themselves in a free fall towards each other. Love is the word that slips from their tongues and out into the open.

It’s the one thing they have faith in, the one thing that keeps Kirill from dying when Avery Wallace shoots him. He fights his way through the odds stacked against him, through Death who wants him for himself, all the way back into the arms of his lover.

Kirill muses much later on that it’s strange what people will do for the ones they love; to hang the moon, to turn back time, to defy the course of nature just for a few more moments. As he lies in their bed back at the apartment they share, he knows he would do all these things and more for the man curled against him. Jack’s fingers idly rub the front of Kirill’s shirt while they watch television, sighing happily when he readjusts his head.

He reaches for them and brushes his lips over Jack’s knuckles, earning a fond expression from his lover.

“What was that for?” he asks.

Kirill presses a kiss to Jack’s forehead in thanks for the stability this man has bestowed upon him when he didn’t realize he was searching for it. “For everything you’ve given me, _Yagnenok_ ,” he whispers. “For everything.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
